Today I had this thought about how weird it is that some people like things that other people don’t. Certain actions just seem to tickle your brain in such a way that your body releases endorphins. On the other side of that same thought different things kill different people. I read somewhere that people get cancer from different things. You might be thinking no shit but gimme a sec.

So I read that people are more suspitible to special carcinogens like some people can’t handel cigerette smoke and some people can’t handel process foods. It’s weird we are all special even in the way it sucks but there something so uncomfortable about wanting something you don’t want to have. Like your brain tells you one thing and your body wants another. Battle of man against the beast. Everything in a weird horrible balance.

You hate and love people, people love and hate you. Honestly I feel really douchey writing this and at the same time something rather liberating. Thinking about the future does weird things to me.

I hate thinking about the future because I don’t know what that is and I love planning for the future because anything can happen. Duality is kind of a bitch. You aren’t suppose to compare yourself to people and that’s my shit, I can’t stop doing it. I want to stop but at the same time I’m jealous and that’s all that matters. Something so small and pathetic about being jealous as if you could switch lives with someone else like that would cure anything. Your brain has this stupid thing of fucking with you, gives you hope and doubt at the same time. Makes you want shit that you didn’t want before and now you do. Sometimes I just kind of need a day off of being me.

FUCK!?!?!?!